Around this time of year, everyone is so excited about falling back/setting the clock back one hour to gain an additional hour of sleep. Yet, we often don't think about falling back in some of our relationships to gain peace of mind, tranquility and well-being.
What do I mean? I regularly examine my friendships and relationships and my investments in them. Is there someone I am spending too much time with or someone I have ignored? Is there someone that I need to help in a different capacity or spend more time with? Is there a relationship that no longer serves its purpose, has gone off course and is full of drama, chaos, discouragement and confusion?
Every now and then you might find yourself in a certain relationship that no longer serves its purpose. Perhaps you have had a life altering experience or suffered a major loss. Truthfully, when you are at your lowest point is when you see who your true friends are. Some are so disconnected from you that they have no clue what is going on with you nor have they even bothered to find out.
Too many of us only think about nurturing in reference to children, spouses or romantic relationships. The need for nurturing does not end there. To nurture is to "encourage and protect; care for, train and educate". Regardless of the nature of the relationship, what you don't nurture you will not possess. A romantic relationship cannot endure consistent long periods without speaking, telephone calls, email or any type of communication. Even with an email or text, at some point you need to spend time with that person, hug them, see their face and hear their voice. The same holds true for friendships.
My advice? Don't trip, get mad, fly off the handle and don't do anything to solicit a reaction. When someone ignores you or refuses to see your value, this does not diminish your uniqueness and typically has nothing to do with you. A diamond will always be a diamond and shine brightly.
Don't make it personal or retaliate; neither one of you is necessarily a bad person, but it may be time for you to go your separate ways. As you transition in life, you will need people to support you and the vision that God has for that season in your life. The last thing you need to do is share your hopes, dreams and visions with someone who already view you as insignificant. These are the people who tell you how ridiculous your dreams are, laugh behind your back (and sometimes in front of your face), increase your fear and doubt levels and try to condemn you to a life of mediocrity. (Don't let a just joking statement fool you either. A joke at your expense isn't funny and a friend who cares would not do that.) Not only does this serve as a distraction but it also consumes the time you should devote to furthering your visions and dreams.
So again, don't hate but remember, in life sometimes you need to fall back to see who is really there for you. See who catches you, how fast they move in comparison to others, what strategy/tools/techniques they use to break your fall and definitely look to see who is still standing on the sidelines waiting for you to fall. The answers will tell you who to move closer to, who to put on watch and who to release.
Side note: for some, as long as they are ignoring you and in the position of power, there is no problem. The minute you stop calling, stop doing and fall back, instantly there is a problem. They are actually right: there is a problem and it has existed for some time, but not the one they’re thinking of. Shake the dust off your feet and move forward.
-Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker and Best Selling Author
CEO, Alesha Brown LLC
"It's never too late to edit your life and I can help!"
Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Helping you to find a light at the end of the tunnel.