One of the frequent questions that my mother always gets is, You don’t have any grandchildren? The world is shocked that someone with two adult daughters has no grandchildren or son-in-laws. Maybe that is a phenomenon in today’s society but it also reveals a sad truth.
Society is filled with people who subscribe to preconceived notions and standards of what true happiness is and the way to obtain it. You are only happy and truly successful if you have xyz. Some even add to these standards by giving you a specified time (theirs) for you to accomplish all these things. No one ever ask my mother how happy her daughters are or what quality of life do they have? No one ask what are her daughters’ recent accomplishments or successes? No one ask my mother how are your daughters changing the world for the better or how are they productive members of society? Some would rather see you married with children and miserable than to be single with no children and fulfilled and happy. [Disclaimer: I am not saying that because you are married and have children your life is miserable; life can be miserable regardless of your circumstances and commitments.]
With maturity, I’ve learned to not be bothered or upset by those questions or statements; rather I feel sorry for the askers. I always say, you can tell a lot about a person by the questions they ask you; not what they say but what it translates to. The difference in the questions in the previous two paragraphs will tell you the substance and life perspective of the asker. People speak and share based on where they are in their life and the sum total of their experiences. Sadly, many have bought into keeping up with the Jones-es or trying to keep up with the status quo. I’ve learned that both of these states will keep you depressed and miserable; you will never have enough or be enough. Typically, when you have reached that point, you feel stuck and unknowingly spread the same limited mindset to others.
Buyers beware: be careful of the words, thoughts and questions you entertain from others! You might not be able to stop someone from asking a particular question or making a statement but you can stop it from taking root in your life and living based off of it. All of us question things from time to time and, in our vulnerabilities, doubt our success and outlook. If we veer off course, we must remind ourselves that Jesus is in control of our lives, our future and our destiny. He withholds no good thing from his children nor is his time our time. For every preconceived notion and standard the world provides God has his own plan and standard for each one of his children. [This is why the company you keep is so critical; when your weak, they will hold you up and remind you of these things.]
Are you one of his children? Then I pray that whatever plan God has for your life, may He open your eyes to see it, may you fulfill it, thrive in it and live the best you RIGHT NOW! May you not be fooled by the opinions of others or shamed into attempting to seek what they say you should have when you should have only to be repeatedly disappointed. Rather may you seek the purpose and the life that you created for in such a time as this.
With God’s blessing and by his power, may you learn how to live a life that is full, abundant and joyfully uninhibited because it is not predicated by the dictates of man. Let no one else’s questions, looks, disparaging remarks (intentional or otherwise) or negativity rob you of the miracle you are. No one knows your story like you know it and, if the truth be told, they are not happy if they constantly criticize and question your life; if they were they wouldn’t have time to be all up in your business asking you why you haven’t done XYZ!
Now don’t get an attitude or tell them off; feel sorry for them but let nothing stop your shine! Beware of the probing and judgmental questions of others; if you are not careful, you will buy into their labels and standards and lose the blessing that is your life!
Oh yeah, there is a brilliant author that wrote all about this; you can purchase your copy today, lol.
--Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Empowerment Coach, Motivational Speaker and Best Selling Author
CEO, Alesha Brown LLC
Alesha Brown, The Joy Guru
Helping you to find a light at the end of the tunnel.